All I feel is pain. Not a headache or a sprained ankle. What I feel is a sharp pain in my chest, the kind that feels like your heart is being pulled into tiny pieces, the kind that makes you empty and makes your future seem very distance, the kind that is triggered by your mind.
I believe this is what they call a heartbreak.
Don’t get me wrong, nobody broke up with me or died. He just makes me feel unwanted. He has no time for me, all I get is texts left on ‘read’ and forgotten greetings. I crave for someone to need me. I want to be someone’s everything.
But it is pathetic to think that anyone will every love someone like me.
I don’t entirely hate this feeling. I’ve had it before and it used to make me cry. It made me want to die. But this time is different. This time It makes me feel alive.
I haven’t felt anything for so long that I will settle for pain.
I would cry but I can’t.
All I feel is that sharp chest pain, and the pressure on my lungs, like someone is trying to murder me.
And I am enjoying it.